Roadkilled by a schoolbus.. :doh:
09-16-2004, 08:46 AM
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,394
Roadkilled by a schoolbus.. :doh:
For the OG's, noobs.
I知 on my way into Cupertino this morning, enjoying my coffee and rolling carefree windows down, moonroof open. As I was approaching the off ramp for my exit to get to work, this chick in a stinking Chrysler Concorde waits until the very last 50 feet of road before deciding to ***m over and get into the exit lane. She makes a hasty lane change to the right, no signal light of course, and cuts me off missing my front bumper by about four feet.
Now I知 trying real hard these days to not let people get to me and stress me out on the road, so I continue about my business without so much as a headlight flash or horn honk. At the top of the ramp you can either turn left or right onto DeAnza Blvd, and, as fate would have it, shes making a right just as I am. DeAnza is a nice wide, three lane boulevard & she moves into the center lane, I into the right. Up ahead, stopped at the next stop light I can see that the left lane already has 3 or 4 cars in it and the center lane is occupied by a yellow school bus. Sensing that this chick is NOT the type to want to be stuck behind a bus at a light, I mash the loud peddle leaving her sorry butt trapped behind one of General Motors finest. HA!
Well apparently the kids in the bus had been watching all this with growing curiosity. Seeing that my windows & roof are open, as I pull along side the bus, several of them start working me, Oooo, big man beat a Chrysler. What cha got in there, a V10? etcetera. Then one of these wise guy teen-agers yells up to the driver, GET EM LARRY. Followed by several others, Yeh, this guy thinks hes hot $#%@ in his Japanese piece of $#%#! Show em who the boss is!.
Larry, looking all of 80 years old, apparently has been driving buses for the local high school since the turn of the century & is somewhat of a legend in these parts. I知 now even with the buss passenger entrance door and as I look over I can see Larry giving me the eye. He snarls in my direction and taps his accelerator. A full 2 seconds later the engine coughs a few times and then revs.
Well this guy clearly doesn稚 know what Maximas can do, and obviously has no respect for The Booker. I calmly set my morning drink, (Starbucks triple tall, non- fat, vanilla iced decaf late, no foam - $6.95 each). I reach up and hit the close direction on the moonroof button and put up my windows, for maximum aero dynamic efficiency. Since its warm this morning, I turn on the fan to pull in some morning air. I give the gas one BIG shot, so that he can here the Stillen wail,
and give him a glance that clearly says, Its on.
Now the kids in the bus are fully pumped, screaming a chant of, Larr - ie, Larr - ie, just like after a fight on the Jerry Springer Show (not that Id know). Just as the light on the cross street is turning amber, I decide that to keep it interesting & to give the guy a sporting chance, Ill start out in 5th yes 5th gear. So I engage the clutch, cram her into 5th, and wait.
Our light turns green, over the roar of the Cummins diesel I can hear, STAND ON IT LARRY!!!. I ease the clutch out and give her half throttle as the engine takes hold. The Max begins heaving and shaking like we were in a 6.0 in the ritcher scale! The bus is pulling on me, half way across the intersection my nose is even with the rear wheels. Kids are hanging out of the windows pointing and laughing like crazy! I give her more gas and less clutch, but there痴 just not enough torque. As I stand on it, full throttle, the rpms drop to 400 on the tach and she nearly stalls. Larrys pulled another 10 feet on me, so I知 now staring at kids in the windows of the rear emergency door. The kids are pointing and howling in my direction! Two of them are giving me crotch chops like they were on big time wrestling or something. Oh the humility!
To make matters worse, not only am I being walked down by a school bus, the girl in the Concorde has caught wind of whats going on and is closing in fast! As the bus crosses the opposite pedestrian walk, he puts it into second and drops the hammer. A HUGE cloud of black diesel exhaust comes billowing out from beneath the rear bumper, which is only inches from my front bumper. Windows up, but with the fan roaring on high setting, my Max sucks up all of the stuff and promptly pumps it into my car. Now I知 not only getting beat by this bus, it has
officially farted on me. I知 coughing and wheezing, barely able to see through the thick black fog on the inside of my car.
Larry now has a full car length on me, and my engine is turning at 300 rpms in 5th gear. In case you池e wondering, this is good for exactly 7 miles per hour. And Concorde girl is walking me down too. Up ahead the road opens into a slight right bend, around which I cannot see, but the bus has already begun to crest the curve. I finally say, Screw this, clutch, drop her into second, and stand all over it. The Stillen screams its approval, and I take off as if shot out of a 12 gauge. Within seconds I am even with the rear wheels of the bus, snot-nosed punk kids have stopped their laughing.
As I reach the front wheels, I suddenly see the reason for Larry痴 confident smerk back at the light. From his vantage point, perched eight feet above the road in the drivers seat of the bus, he could clearly see the LANE CLOSED AHEAD sign, erected just at the apex of the curve
whereas I had no clue. 50 feet ahead of me are about 7 CalTrans workers, in their stupid looking orange vests and hardhats, two pickup trucks, and one very large steam roller working on repairing a sink hole that had opened in the road overnight.
I now have 40 feet to make a decision. Can I make it??? Larry grabs third and gives it the gas, indicating he has no intention of letting up and letting me in. 30 feet to make a decision : stand on it hard and pray that I can outrun the bus and get over into the center lane, fail and broadside a 6 ton bus, fail and head on a 15 ton steam roller, or swallow my pride, brake and get in behind him. I choose the latter. I clutch and stand on the brake pedal. The bus goes roaring by and I fall into rank directly behind. DAMN!
As I look up through the rear glass of the bus, I can see the driver, Larry. (That rat bastard). He pulls down his sun visor and grabs a pen out of his shirt pocket. Taped to the inside of the visor he has a piece of paper, clearly written ROADKILLS, which has about 50 marks beneath it. He adds another mark beneath the word, flips the visor up, grabs fourth and gases it. The kids in the back of the bus continue to taunt and flip me off, as the bus goes speeding down the boulevard. I guess GM diesel power lives afterall.
I知 on my way into Cupertino this morning, enjoying my coffee and rolling carefree windows down, moonroof open. As I was approaching the off ramp for my exit to get to work, this chick in a stinking Chrysler Concorde waits until the very last 50 feet of road before deciding to ***m over and get into the exit lane. She makes a hasty lane change to the right, no signal light of course, and cuts me off missing my front bumper by about four feet.
Now I知 trying real hard these days to not let people get to me and stress me out on the road, so I continue about my business without so much as a headlight flash or horn honk. At the top of the ramp you can either turn left or right onto DeAnza Blvd, and, as fate would have it, shes making a right just as I am. DeAnza is a nice wide, three lane boulevard & she moves into the center lane, I into the right. Up ahead, stopped at the next stop light I can see that the left lane already has 3 or 4 cars in it and the center lane is occupied by a yellow school bus. Sensing that this chick is NOT the type to want to be stuck behind a bus at a light, I mash the loud peddle leaving her sorry butt trapped behind one of General Motors finest. HA!
Well apparently the kids in the bus had been watching all this with growing curiosity. Seeing that my windows & roof are open, as I pull along side the bus, several of them start working me, Oooo, big man beat a Chrysler. What cha got in there, a V10? etcetera. Then one of these wise guy teen-agers yells up to the driver, GET EM LARRY. Followed by several others, Yeh, this guy thinks hes hot $#%@ in his Japanese piece of $#%#! Show em who the boss is!.
Larry, looking all of 80 years old, apparently has been driving buses for the local high school since the turn of the century & is somewhat of a legend in these parts. I知 now even with the buss passenger entrance door and as I look over I can see Larry giving me the eye. He snarls in my direction and taps his accelerator. A full 2 seconds later the engine coughs a few times and then revs.
Well this guy clearly doesn稚 know what Maximas can do, and obviously has no respect for The Booker. I calmly set my morning drink, (Starbucks triple tall, non- fat, vanilla iced decaf late, no foam - $6.95 each). I reach up and hit the close direction on the moonroof button and put up my windows, for maximum aero dynamic efficiency. Since its warm this morning, I turn on the fan to pull in some morning air. I give the gas one BIG shot, so that he can here the Stillen wail,
and give him a glance that clearly says, Its on.
Now the kids in the bus are fully pumped, screaming a chant of, Larr - ie, Larr - ie, just like after a fight on the Jerry Springer Show (not that Id know). Just as the light on the cross street is turning amber, I decide that to keep it interesting & to give the guy a sporting chance, Ill start out in 5th yes 5th gear. So I engage the clutch, cram her into 5th, and wait.
Our light turns green, over the roar of the Cummins diesel I can hear, STAND ON IT LARRY!!!. I ease the clutch out and give her half throttle as the engine takes hold. The Max begins heaving and shaking like we were in a 6.0 in the ritcher scale! The bus is pulling on me, half way across the intersection my nose is even with the rear wheels. Kids are hanging out of the windows pointing and laughing like crazy! I give her more gas and less clutch, but there痴 just not enough torque. As I stand on it, full throttle, the rpms drop to 400 on the tach and she nearly stalls. Larrys pulled another 10 feet on me, so I知 now staring at kids in the windows of the rear emergency door. The kids are pointing and howling in my direction! Two of them are giving me crotch chops like they were on big time wrestling or something. Oh the humility!
To make matters worse, not only am I being walked down by a school bus, the girl in the Concorde has caught wind of whats going on and is closing in fast! As the bus crosses the opposite pedestrian walk, he puts it into second and drops the hammer. A HUGE cloud of black diesel exhaust comes billowing out from beneath the rear bumper, which is only inches from my front bumper. Windows up, but with the fan roaring on high setting, my Max sucks up all of the stuff and promptly pumps it into my car. Now I知 not only getting beat by this bus, it has
officially farted on me. I知 coughing and wheezing, barely able to see through the thick black fog on the inside of my car.
Larry now has a full car length on me, and my engine is turning at 300 rpms in 5th gear. In case you池e wondering, this is good for exactly 7 miles per hour. And Concorde girl is walking me down too. Up ahead the road opens into a slight right bend, around which I cannot see, but the bus has already begun to crest the curve. I finally say, Screw this, clutch, drop her into second, and stand all over it. The Stillen screams its approval, and I take off as if shot out of a 12 gauge. Within seconds I am even with the rear wheels of the bus, snot-nosed punk kids have stopped their laughing.
As I reach the front wheels, I suddenly see the reason for Larry痴 confident smerk back at the light. From his vantage point, perched eight feet above the road in the drivers seat of the bus, he could clearly see the LANE CLOSED AHEAD sign, erected just at the apex of the curve
whereas I had no clue. 50 feet ahead of me are about 7 CalTrans workers, in their stupid looking orange vests and hardhats, two pickup trucks, and one very large steam roller working on repairing a sink hole that had opened in the road overnight.
I now have 40 feet to make a decision. Can I make it??? Larry grabs third and gives it the gas, indicating he has no intention of letting up and letting me in. 30 feet to make a decision : stand on it hard and pray that I can outrun the bus and get over into the center lane, fail and broadside a 6 ton bus, fail and head on a 15 ton steam roller, or swallow my pride, brake and get in behind him. I choose the latter. I clutch and stand on the brake pedal. The bus goes roaring by and I fall into rank directly behind. DAMN!
As I look up through the rear glass of the bus, I can see the driver, Larry. (That rat bastard). He pulls down his sun visor and grabs a pen out of his shirt pocket. Taped to the inside of the visor he has a piece of paper, clearly written ROADKILLS, which has about 50 marks beneath it. He adds another mark beneath the word, flips the visor up, grabs fourth and gases it. The kids in the back of the bus continue to taunt and flip me off, as the bus goes speeding down the boulevard. I guess GM diesel power lives afterall.
09-16-2004, 08:58 AM
#5
my question is why on earth did u leave it in 5th?!?! after the first 5 seconds you see the yellow limo pull on you..you should've down it to 2nd there and zip by him.
i should demote u to autotragic just for that move
i should demote u to autotragic just for that move
by a short bus!!! 
j/k great story, good detail. thanks for the laugh i needed that.
09-16-2004, 10:49 AM
#24
09-16-2004, 11:59 AM
#28
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 891
OMG DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have to agree with that one guy, you asked for it by starting in 5th, i would have just burned rubber out of there and make larry cry that he only has a school bus. either that our pull out a 12 gauge and start poping off those kids 
Tony
Tony
09-16-2004, 12:52 PM
#30
Originally Posted by Maximamike
at the noobs who think I actually got roadkilled by a schoolbus..The .org never changes.. Hahaha..
:holla: to all my OG Max.org peoples..
what's up mikey
remember me....Polo91GXE
09-16-2004, 01:15 PM
#33
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,394
Originally Posted by SprintMax
So mikey... how is the Monster coming along? youve only been building it for 6 years now
09-16-2004, 01:24 PM
#34
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 2,394
But I will leave you with this.. Hmm..
"mjcnismo (3:40:22 PM): hmmm maybe i should buy another Maxima
mjcnismo (3:40:55 PM): haha
Lordrandall (3:41:11 PM): What year?
mjcnismo (3:41:17 PM): 3rd gen
mjcnismo (3:41:18 PM): VE 5 spd
mjcnismo (3:41:22 PM): black on black
mjcnismo (3:41:23 PM): gotta be mint"
"mjcnismo (3:40:22 PM): hmmm maybe i should buy another Maxima
mjcnismo (3:40:55 PM): haha
Lordrandall (3:41:11 PM): What year?
mjcnismo (3:41:17 PM): 3rd gen
mjcnismo (3:41:18 PM): VE 5 spd
mjcnismo (3:41:22 PM): black on black
mjcnismo (3:41:23 PM): gotta be mint"
09-16-2004, 01:35 PM
#35
Originally Posted by Maximamike
But I will leave you with this.. Hmm..
"mjcnismo (3:40:22 PM): hmmm maybe i should buy another Maxima
mjcnismo (3:40:55 PM): haha
Lordrandall (3:41:11 PM): What year?
mjcnismo (3:41:17 PM): 3rd gen
mjcnismo (3:41:18 PM): VE 5 spd
mjcnismo (3:41:22 PM): black on black
mjcnismo (3:41:23 PM): gotta be mint"
"mjcnismo (3:40:22 PM): hmmm maybe i should buy another Maxima
mjcnismo (3:40:55 PM): haha
Lordrandall (3:41:11 PM): What year?
mjcnismo (3:41:17 PM): 3rd gen
mjcnismo (3:41:18 PM): VE 5 spd
mjcnismo (3:41:22 PM): black on black
mjcnismo (3:41:23 PM): gotta be mint"
All hail the great Booker
09-16-2004, 01:40 PM
#36
Originally Posted by Lordrandall
All hail the great Booker
Does anyone have Episode 2 of The Bold and the BBS lying around? My archive is mostly complete, but it's missing that one for sure.
09-16-2004, 01:46 PM
#37
here is what i got from mikey http://www.sprintmax.com/atbbt.htm
