I am pissed ! Or sad ...
01-19-2009, 05:17 PM
#1
I tend to get a bit irritable
Thread Starter
iTrader: (151)
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Central Jersey
Posts: 17,674
I am pissed ! Or sad ...
Really dont know, perhaps just a bit numb right now.
Short version:
My mother in law (of whom was a great mother to me) has just passed. She was taken by Liver cancer and all within a few weeks time.
Gall Bladder removed and noted Sclerosis. Upon further inspection cancer was also noted ' entering stage 5 '. She was moved to a cancer center and was confirmed to be Liver cancer. Doctors advised she had a few weeks to live and was sent home 2 days later on Hospice care. She passed this afternoon.
Time line started right after New Years and ended today. Surprised? Hell yes as nothing was apparent prior. I still cannot grasp the idea that the woman that cooked us Christmas dinner and played with my children is the same one that I will never see again.
My wife is a mess. My father in law in which was married to her for 40 years is a train wreck. He is very dependent and is already panicking of what his life will be now.
Death is not something new to me, however this is the absolute closest I have been to someone that passed. Without any forewarning it makes things more difficult.
So as I sit here confused .. am I angry? Am I upset? I really do not know. I have some much going through my mind right now it is disturbing. For the past 10 years this woman has been as much of my mother as she has been my wife's.
Short version:
My mother in law (of whom was a great mother to me) has just passed. She was taken by Liver cancer and all within a few weeks time.
Gall Bladder removed and noted Sclerosis. Upon further inspection cancer was also noted ' entering stage 5 '. She was moved to a cancer center and was confirmed to be Liver cancer. Doctors advised she had a few weeks to live and was sent home 2 days later on Hospice care. She passed this afternoon.
Time line started right after New Years and ended today. Surprised? Hell yes as nothing was apparent prior. I still cannot grasp the idea that the woman that cooked us Christmas dinner and played with my children is the same one that I will never see again.
My wife is a mess. My father in law in which was married to her for 40 years is a train wreck. He is very dependent and is already panicking of what his life will be now.
Death is not something new to me, however this is the absolute closest I have been to someone that passed. Without any forewarning it makes things more difficult.
So as I sit here confused .. am I angry? Am I upset? I really do not know. I have some much going through my mind right now it is disturbing. For the past 10 years this woman has been as much of my mother as she has been my wife's.
01-19-2009, 05:44 PM
#2
you're probably just a bit numb right now. my entire family felt the same way when my grandfather passed suddently back in '97. A stupid stroke took his life. He was sitting there relaxing, then next thing we knew, he was rushed to the ER. He passed a few hours afterwards. We were completely shocked, and was numb for quite some time.
Liver cancer will make you go quick if you're in the late stages. I don't know what else I can say to ease your heavy heart, but I have heard from doctors that there's not much pain associated with liver cancer...so she passed without much pain. I feel kinda bad calling you awhile ago with a rather unimportant matter in comparison to what you went through earlier. Again, I send my condolences to you, and your entire family with your mother-in-law's passing.
01-19-2009, 06:40 PM
#9
dunno yet. we spent good amount of time trying to find a damn distro block with 0awg, 4awg out. not many shops in his area have any in stock. BB and CC were no help. we did find one from a mom and pop audio shop. but it was this monsterous distro block from audiobahn. built in cap, amp meter, volt meter, etc etc. lotsa useless sh*t so we didn't get it.
01-19-2009, 06:58 PM
#10
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: NYC
Posts: 66
Sorry to hear man..... My grandparents both passed of cancer.... There's nothing that anyone could tell that will change the way you feel. May she rest in pease and all that is left to do is be there for each other especially your father inlaw
01-19-2009, 07:14 PM
#11
With time Im sure your sadness will pass, easy for me to say right? Just spend lots of time with the people you love, I'm sure the wifey feels the same or more pain than you as she grew up with her. Think of the good times! Sorry for your loss Don.
01-19-2009, 07:30 PM
#13
Sorry to hear about the bad news Don. I know nothing anyone says makes this any easier, just remember that time heals all and to be there for the rest of the family. My grandfather died a few years back - multiple myeloma - and it was heart breaking for the whole family. I had never seen my old man cry until right after he died, and that is a real eye opener when you are 16 years old to see your dad weeping...
You're probably sad because you no longer have your mom (in-law), confused because it happened so fast, and maybe a little pissed someone didn't find it sooner. But if it just happened today, the weight of it probably hasn't hit you yet, unfortunately.
My condolences man.
-Matt
You're probably sad because you no longer have your mom (in-law), confused because it happened so fast, and maybe a little pissed someone didn't find it sooner. But if it just happened today, the weight of it probably hasn't hit you yet, unfortunately.
My condolences man.
-Matt
Last edited by MadMaxSE-L; 01-19-2009 at 07:34 PM.
01-19-2009, 08:20 PM
#14
Oh man 
I'm sorry to hear Don. You told me about it and I kept her in my prayers but I'm sure you were not expecting it so soon. May her soul rest in painless peace. Please send my condolences to Jen and the rest of your family.
"To God we belong and unto Him is our return"
I'm sorry to hear Don. You told me about it and I kept her in my prayers but I'm sure you were not expecting it so soon. May her soul rest in painless peace. Please send my condolences to Jen and the rest of your family.
"To God we belong and unto Him is our return"
Last edited by djfrestyl; 01-19-2009 at 08:25 PM.
01-19-2009, 09:51 PM
#16
Don, I'm sorry to hear for your loss.
Honestly, though - whatever you're feeling you'll know when you do. If you're pissed, BE PISSED; if you're sad, BE SAD. DON'T let things pent up inside of you. Grieving is a process that helps us cope; how you do it is on your terms. It doesn't make you any less of a man (no h0m0). I am not going to BS you and say, "I know how you feel", because I don't - but I do know that you and your family will, in time, be fine, with fond memories of times once cherished.
I am hoping for your families best.
Honestly, though - whatever you're feeling you'll know when you do. If you're pissed, BE PISSED; if you're sad, BE SAD. DON'T let things pent up inside of you. Grieving is a process that helps us cope; how you do it is on your terms. It doesn't make you any less of a man (no h0m0). I am not going to BS you and say, "I know how you feel", because I don't - but I do know that you and your family will, in time, be fine, with fond memories of times once cherished.
I am hoping for your families best.
01-19-2009, 09:55 PM
#17
Don, I'm truly sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts. Take some time, grieve as you should and know that you have a lot of friends thinking of you at this difficult time.
Take care, bro.
-Tim
Take care, bro.
-Tim
01-19-2009, 10:47 PM
#18
I tend to get a bit irritable
Thread Starter
iTrader: (151)
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Central Jersey
Posts: 17,674
Thank you again guys, it is always nice to know I have friends here and the support is excellent. I told a few people from here about the situation and was reluctant to post at first. After the events today I needed the extra shoulders.
01-19-2009, 11:18 PM
#21
people come and go when you least expect it...that's how it is unfortunately
. but our memories with our loved ones will last forever.
01-20-2009, 02:37 PM
#27
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Baytown, Tx
Posts: 986
Sorry to hear about your loss Don. I give my condolences to you and your family.
and i know what your going through.
its been a couple years now, but within a span of 3 years my Mom lost first her father then 2 years later her mother, then my Dad lost his father. It was a very rough time in our family. All i have to say is let out your pain and grieve with your family. Your family will be there through thick and thin! Only time will mend your loss, and like others have said memories are forever.
travis
and i know what your going through.
its been a couple years now, but within a span of 3 years my Mom lost first her father then 2 years later her mother, then my Dad lost his father. It was a very rough time in our family. All i have to say is let out your pain and grieve with your family. Your family will be there through thick and thin! Only time will mend your loss, and like others have said memories are forever.
travis
01-20-2009, 03:11 PM
#28
Don, sorry for your loss bro. I know how big of a role she played directly in your new families life and it hurts/sucks that she's not going to witness the new changes in your lives. I'm glad you are still moving forward and know she would want you to. I really hope Jen is doing well. As much as this is affecting you, I can only imagine the pain of a daughter after losing her mother, a mother that has been in her life during her greatest moments...
01-20-2009, 10:47 PM
#29
I tend to get a bit irritable
Thread Starter
iTrader: (151)
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Central Jersey
Posts: 17,674
It is going to be a rough couple of days coming up. The wake is on Friday and at that point is when 'staying busy' and keeping my mind off of it may come crashing down on me. I am still a bit in denial and thinking it is all a bad dream.
Again, the support from here is excellent and is helping more than you all know.
Again, the support from here is excellent and is helping more than you all know.
01-21-2009, 08:01 AM
#30
To this day when I think about my niece and how quickly she was taken away from this world I realize how short life is. How necessary it is to live your life the way you want to live it and not let things get in the way. Each loss we suffer is one step to understanding and realizing this.
I know how hard it is to lose someone so close to you, Chelsea was my entire life wrapped into a little 3 year 11 month package. I could never forget how she changed my entire life, she made me feel again which was quite a task.
At first when she passed it was shock, mostly because it was so unexpected. Then the why's start, then the it should have been me etc. It's hard, but at some point the realization will come as to what she was here for and how she accomplished all of what she had to accomplish. Right now it seems like the furthest thing that could possibly be thought of, but I promise you it will be realized by each and everyone of you in the family, Don just keep your head up, it's an impossible task right now ... I know.. but also keep strong your fam needs it. Sounds like the stupidest thing, but it helps to have a pillar of strength through these toughest times.
My thoughts are with you.
I know how hard it is to lose someone so close to you, Chelsea was my entire life wrapped into a little 3 year 11 month package. I could never forget how she changed my entire life, she made me feel again which was quite a task.
At first when she passed it was shock, mostly because it was so unexpected. Then the why's start, then the it should have been me etc. It's hard, but at some point the realization will come as to what she was here for and how she accomplished all of what she had to accomplish. Right now it seems like the furthest thing that could possibly be thought of, but I promise you it will be realized by each and everyone of you in the family, Don just keep your head up, it's an impossible task right now ... I know.. but also keep strong your fam needs it. Sounds like the stupidest thing, but it helps to have a pillar of strength through these toughest times.
My thoughts are with you.
01-25-2009, 05:53 PM
#31
Wow, I missed this thread.
Sorry to hear Don.
I know its hard, Cancer is evil. I was 19, cousin 21....lived next door for 12 years.
Cancer in his bone, took him away. We all expected it, as it was on going treatments and operations for over a year.
I still cry about it, when I think of him. But it'll be ok. It happens, and just remember the good times.
Sorry to hear Don.
I know its hard, Cancer is evil. I was 19, cousin 21....lived next door for 12 years.
Cancer in his bone, took him away. We all expected it, as it was on going treatments and operations for over a year.
I still cry about it, when I think of him. But it'll be ok. It happens, and just remember the good times.
01-27-2009, 08:42 PM
#36
I tend to get a bit irritable
Thread Starter
iTrader: (151)
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Central Jersey
Posts: 17,674
I have actually never spoke to my father in law in the past 10 yrs as much as the past 10 days. Absolutely nothing wrong with this as we were somewhat close (not as much as mom though), but I am getting to know him Alot better now.
I am now feeling a bit of his pain though. He is stranded in a fairly large house by himself just dwelling. Hopefully he is able to pull through well and we are all trying to keep him busy with phone calls/emails/whatever.
I am now feeling a bit of his pain though. He is stranded in a fairly large house by himself just dwelling. Hopefully he is able to pull through well and we are all trying to keep him busy with phone calls/emails/whatever.
02-05-2009, 12:01 AM
#38
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Grove City, PA
Posts: 170
i feel your pain i lost my grandfather on 12.24.08, its not a good thing to deal with he was the 3rd one in my family this year to past, i still havent taken time off work to deal with it, i hope you deal with this in your own time, for me death is something i cant handle well, eversince my car accident 4 years ago when i had the front end of my jeep taken off...
i am very sorry for your loss
God bless you
i am very sorry for your loss
God bless you
02-05-2009, 07:34 AM
#39
My she rest in peace...i know its hard to cope...ive lost 3 friends in 3 consecutive years since 2oo2 when i started high school...didnt know how to feel...when all this snow clears out im going to the cemetery to bring flowers (not too far from my house either so i drive past almost daily )...keep ur head up & remember the happy times.
-Carlos
and heres some entertainment
:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfeI0Y7lHkw
)...keep ur head up & remember the happy times.-Carlos
and heres some entertainment
:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfeI0Y7lHkw
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